From the Must Try Harder department:
Google's quantum-based spam filtering launch was thrown into chaos today due to Microsoft Windows's inability to cope with Australia's daylight savings changes ... It uses quantum computing to reduce Gmail inboxes to an sub-atomic level, at which point the unusual laws of quantum physics allow Google to analyse infinite amounts of spam instantaneously ... The resulting quantum fluctuations created a feedback loop which engulfed London's Supercomputing Methods Experimental Group (SMEG) research centre where the project is based ... SMEG spokeswoman Shirley Knott was beside herself.Oh brother.